Six Positives of a Bon Jovi Owned Bills

There have been a lot of rumors lately about rocker Jon Bon Jovi being part of a Canadian group that wants to buy the Buffalo Bills.  This has been met with mixed reviews by football fans in Western New York.  For some, it would be a bed of roses.  For others, they would be forced to swallow bad medicine.

At first, I was on the borderline.  What does Jon know about owning a football team anyways?  The more I thought about it though, the more I was thinking that this was something to believe in.  Hey, the way I see it, everyone has gotta have a reason to be optimistic, and I think Jon Bon Jovi owning the Bills would give me another reason to believe that this franchise was ready to breakout.

Let’s face it, One Bills Drive has been brokenpromiseland since the mid 90’s.  A change is needed, and Jon Bon Jovi has been to Buffalo, and said “I love this town!”  He has exclaimed to the media, “It’s my life!  I don’t wanna save the world, I just want to own an NFL football team, and the Bills are born to be my baby.  I want to make a memory.”

Well Jon, I gotta say, you had me from hello.  I am not going to runaway.  I am going to take the seat next to you and have no regrets about pro football in Western New York for the next hundred years.  I really believe that under Jon’s ownership, I will never say goodbye to the Bills.  I believe that if Bills fans keep the faith, the Bills will soon be the king of the mountain.

Are you as convinced, or will you be living on a prayer if Bon Jovi buys the Bills?  Well, I have come up with some reasons to help bring you one step closer to saying “I’m with you”, if that’s what it takes.

1.  It will bring national relevance to the Buffalo Bills.  Of course, Bon Jovi hasn’t been the hit machine they once were, but Jon and the boys were really the “supergroup of the 80’s” and Jon is still nationally relevant.  He has gone into acting, producing and directing, and has a ton of contacts with very important people in the nations entertainment industry.  TV networks will put the Bills on national telecasts just to get a shot of Jon watching in the owners booth.

2.  The best damn pre-game and halftime concerts in the league!  Imagine the possibilities.  Bon Jovi plays a four song set on the field at the Ralph at the half of every home game.  Pre-game concerts in the parking lot with Skid Row, Poison and Great White, with different bands rotating every home game.  For many of those bands–I’ll be there for you!

3.  The city of Buffalo would take over from Detroit Rock City–it would become “Buffalo Rock City” that would be on everyone’s lips.

4.  A name change could be in order.  Let’s face it, the “Bills” has had its day.  What is a Bill anyways?  I’ve always wondered why a team named after the legendary “Buffalo Bill” from wild west fame had a buffalo on it’s helmet anyway.  Shouldn’t it have a picture of a gunslinger?  With Jon Bon Jovi owning the team, he could change the name to the “Buffalo Rockers”, “Buffalo Blast”, “Buffalo Rocknrollers” or “Buffalo Guitar Solo’s”.

5.  The Buffalo Jills could be clothed in studded leather uniforms.  Yowza!  Imagine that!  The cheerleader hotties dancing and strutting around on the sidelines looking like hard rockin’ babes.  Craigy likey.

6.  A Hard Rock cafe could be put in somewhere in the Ralph or adjacent to it, maybe next to the practice facility.  Hey, the new Yankee stadium has one, why not the Ralph?  A Hard Rock cafe wouldn’t be more appropriate in any other NFL stadium than in one owned by Jon Bon Jovi, would it?  It would give fans another reason to go to games, and something else to do other than getting drunk in the parking lots.  Now they could get drunk inside instead, and the team could make money off of it.  A Hard Rock cafe?  I’d die for you, even if they did serve bitter wine.

The bottom line is, if Jon Bon Jovi were to buy the Bills, I think it would be a beautiful world.  I believe it with every beat of my heart.  Ralph, it’s hard letting you go, but if Jon Bon Jovi buys the Bills, I think it will be wild in the streets of Buffalo.

I just hope I am right, and he doesn’t say, “who says you can’t go home” and moves the team to New Jersey.

That would make him wanted, dead or alive, in the hearts of most Bills fans.

By the way, if you can name every Bon Jovi song I mentioned in this column, let me know how many and I’ll buy you a beer or something.  (I’ll give you a clue–there’s over 30!)