LIAR, LIAR & ROID RAGE

The other shoe fell today on one of the game of baseball’s best power hitters, after Ryan Braun agreed to a 65 game suspension from major league baseball. Actually, Braun is one of the best hitters, plain and simple, in all of baseball. Now he is the best hitter out of baseball.

For the remainder of this season, Braun will be on the sidelines, not getting that fat paycheck, and watching his Brewers play on TV just like you and I and anyone else with the MLB extra innings package.

Serves him right.

I was so ticked off about the news that Braun had agreed to a suspension that steam was coming out of my ears. It wasn’t just that Braun’s suspension probably ruins any chance I would have had to win my fantasy baseball NL league (I’m in 5th), but…well ok, that is a big part of it. No, the real reason I am steamed worse than a fresh New England Lobster is that Braun lied to us.

He lied to me. He lied to you. He lied to baseball fans everywhere. He probably even lied to himself.

Not since Sammy Sosa lost his grasp on the English language, Mark McGwire said a whole lot of nothing and Rafael Palmeiro wagged his finger at a Congressional committee, has a baseball player lied to fans this bad.

Even after the Congresional hearings. Even after the Roger Clemens trial. Even after A-Rod was on 60 Minutes, many of us STILL wanted to believe Braun. When he said they goofed up his piss test, stored it wrong, and didn’t use “morning pee” or whatever his excuse was, we WANTED SO BADLY TO BELIEVE IT. We thought in today’s new crackdown on performance enhancing drugs and zero tolerance policies, that there was no way a player could possibly be stupid enough to use PED’s.

We found out we were wrong again.

That being said, there aren’t enough eggs in the world to make up for the egg on Braun’s face. After being so incredulous. After being so indignant. After being so high and mighty and above the law, we find out he just plain lied.

“I would bet my life that I never put any of those substances in my body” said Braun. Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Now, we are getting a different, more contrite Braun, “As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect,” Braun said. “I realize now that I have made some mistakes. I am willing to accept the consequences of those actions. This situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family, and it has been a distraction to my teammates and the Brewers organization. I am very grateful for the support I have received from players, ownership and the fans in Milwaukee and around the country. Finally, I wish to apologize to anyone I may have disappointed – all of the baseball fans especially those in Milwaukee, the great Brewers organization, and my teammates. I am glad to have this matter behind me once and for all, and I cannot wait to get back to the game I love.”

Well that’s nice that he thinks it will be behind him. I hope this dogs his sorry ass for the remainder of his career. Making a fool of baseball fans like he has over the past two years–he deserves it. Every home run, every RBI he gets from now on has to make all of us shake our heads and wonder, “was that on the up-and-up.” How can we not?

Now, watch the dominoes fall. Braun was the big fish. MLB wanted him, and now that they have gotten him, hook, line and sinker, it should be time for A-Rod, Nelson Cruz and all the others recently implicated in the Biogenesis scandal to get their comuppance.

It’s surely a sad day for baseball, but maybe a good day for us fans. This time, hopefully we won’t be so gullible ever again.

Please consider donating to fund research and clinical trials of my blinding eye disease. Go to www.curechm.org and click the “donate now” link.

‘ROID RAGE

So, what is there to write about during the two days of the year when there is not a single game in any of the four major sports? Yeah, did you know that? There are only two days of the year when not a single game is played in either baseball, football, basketball or hockey. It’s the day before the all-star game and the day after.

Well, a sports reporter/columnist/blogger like myself has to go on. We can’t just stop for the all-star break. We still have to find things to write about, and the first thing I want to write about is the looming new steroids controversy.

The latest controversy, this Biogenesis scandal in Miami is threatening to become the “Balco of the East”. It could also make the Balco scandal look tame by comparison. Upwards of twenty of the major stars in the game reportedly have links to Biogenesis. Players such as Robinson Cano, Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Braun, Gio Gonzalez, Nelson Cruz, Jhonny Peralta, and Everth and Melky Cabrera all could be facing possible 100 game suspensions.

I applaud MLB for being tough on those players who are implicated, but only if they are able to prove it. Too much of this steroid enforcement often seems like a “witch hunt”. Remember the Ryan Braun thing last year? They had him busted. Or did they? They had indisputable evidence….but it was disputed that it was botched. They mishandled Braun’s pee, and therefore, Braun got off on a technicality. The MLB drug people came off looking like a bunch of bumbling Inspector Clouseau’s.

Now, it looks like baseball is ready to go at it again. It appears they are ready to name the offenders and lay down the punishment. Of course, it won’t be that simple. You can’t just suspend 20 guys for 100 games of their livelihood. Not without appeals, which you can bet your ass there will be. I’m guessing all of ’em will appeal. I’m also willing to bet those appeals will last well into the off-season.

All of this makes one wonder…..wouldn’t it just be easier if major league baseball just gave up the fight? I think so.

Let’s face it, baseball was a more fun game to watch in the late 90’s. Balls were rocketing out of bandbox parks in record numbers. Pitchers went nine innings more often, threw near 100 miles and hour and fans flew through the turnstiles in droves. 14-11 games were commonplace. There were no 2-1 pitching duels.

Why not just let everyone have it all? Fans can have all the long-ball excitement they can stomach. Players will have no excuses for not putting up the best possible numbers they can put up. The record book is already toast after the mid to late 90’s and early 2000’s blew it up, so where is the problem?

If there are no rules to enforce regarding steroids, HGH or whatever else scientists can figure out to put in players bodies, then it is a completely even playing field. The .220 hitting punch and judy second baseman can juice up just as much as the power hitting superstar outfielder. At that point, we wouldn’t know or care if a player is on the roids, everyone would just assume all of them are.

The way things are now, no one knows. Baseball can try to enforce the policy as much as they want, but everytime a Chris Davis type season rolls around, there will continue to be questions.

“Is he on something?”,

“No, he can’t be…he’s clean, he’s just big naturally”.

“No way! Dude’s juicing. He went from 32 homers last year to 48 this year. Gotta be juicing!”

“Yeah? Well what about your guy? Never hit more than 10 homers in the minors, then goes 36 and 42 in his first two years…he’s on something!”

“No way bra! Dude played in a pitchers park in triple A”

And so it goes. If baseball legalizes everything, you won’t have conversations like that anymore. I think baseball ought to give it some serious thought. The sport is dying a slow death. It needs a lot of help in many different facets–speed of games, start time of World Series games, length of seasons, and so on. Legalizing everything won’t be a cure-all, but it would be much easier than trying to enforce something that just may be unenforceable.

Other topics I want to comment on:

–Speaking of steroids, does anyone give two shits about the Tour de France anymore? If americans aren’t winning or dominating anymore, then we don’t care about it. Same thing can be said for mens’ tennis, World Cup soccer and Olympic events like table-tennis, judo or biathlon. Of course I said a similar thing about the LPGA tour heading down that road and that got me fired.

–Dwight Howard is a crybaby whiner. For a seven foot giant of a man, he sure whines a lot. Lately, it’s telling ESPN sportscenter that playing with Kobe was “tough, real tough”. Apparently, Howard was shocked that a guy like Kobe would want the ball in clutch situations and take too many shots in a game, and that was tough for him to deal with. Really D? You gots to be playin’ us. Obviously Howard never watched a Lakers game involving Kobe Bryant. Well Dwight, you better get used to it. James Harden isn’t much better.

–Finally, speaking of the NBA, just what the Knicks need….another aging former star who is a head case. Word is that Ron Artest, errrr, Metta World Peace, is about to sign a free agent deal with the Knicks. Maybe the Knicks are in the market for a guy who USED TO BE a good defender, shoots under 30% from the arc, shoots too much, and seems more concerned with his rap albums and music career, as well as being on late night talk shows than he is with basketball. At least Spike Lee should be happy.